The divorce process can be a difficult time for both parents and the children involved. It is a time of many transitions. There may be changes in feelings, friends, family, and home life. Parents need to communicate with their child(ren) during and about the changes taking place. In addition to books, videos may also be a way to encourage communication. Through the parent-child discussing the video, the child(ren):

1. Learn s/he is not alone. Seeing other children going through the same situations could help alleviate feelings of isolation or of being an outsider.

2. Identify with characters in a way that s/he understands and be able to relate to characters, particularly those of the same age and gender.

3. Gain insight and knowledge and apply that knowledge to real life. This teaches the child ways of coping with the divorce.

Videos may serve as a channel to release tension. The child can discuss very personal feelings through the characters. Discussing the video with your child will allow you to understand more about what your child is going through. It will also give your child a safe way to ask questions and stimulate further conversation. Not only will the use of the help the child learn ways of coping and dealing with divorce, but it also can be a way for your and your divorcing spouse to cope with the transition of divorce.

For the child:
The child in this story is six-year-old Billy.
Notice how the father explains the divorce to his son, explaining the child did not cause the divorce.

Notice the transition from legal divorce to emotional and community divorce. (Refer to FOK handout GH6601 Focus on Families: Divorce and Adults)

There are times when Billy fantasizes about his parents remarrying. This might be a time to stop the video and talk about this with your child.

Later in the film, Billy also asks his dad about remarriage. This segment could be used to discuss your child's feelings about your dating.

For the parents:
Note Billy's temperament. He is resistant to changes and needs time to think about what is happening before discussing. How would you categorize your child's temperament? Active? Fussy? Rhythmic? Adaptive? Low or high sensitivity? Distractible? Persistent?

Notice how the father is portrayed as incompetent at basic household tasks, such as preparing breakfast and purchasing household products. How might that affect how he s treated by friends and family?

How might one handle the competing roles and values of career and parent?

The frustration of finding child care are explored in this video. What should one look for in child care? Look at Extension Publication GH6233 Finding and Selecting GoodChild Care

Note the importance of a friend and neighbor for the father. What are other sources of support?

Note the difference in Billy when the father becomes involved. In what ways is the father more authoritative as a parent?

Note the child's reaction to the mother re-entering his life and how the parents eventually work out an arrangement for both to be involved.