Date of Release: 1979

Rating: PG

Synopsis: "A story of contemporary relationships, values and choices. Returning home late from work one night, a career obsessed Ted Kramer (Dustin Hoffman) is told by his wife, Joanna (Meryl Streep), that she is leaving him. After a lifetime of being somebody’s daughter or somebody’s wife (she has been a housewife), she’s going off to find herself—leaving Ted to care of their 6-year-old son." Initially, Ted is in denial that the divorce is going to take place and tells their son that Mommy will be back. "Ted, while trying to hold down his job, gets to really know his son as few fathers do: cooking his meals, taking him to the park, understanding every need and fear. For the first time in his life he feels like a fulfilled parent. But then Joanna returns and she wants her son back."

Children’s ages and gender: Son 6.
Married 8 years.

Points in video addressed in FOK:
Child blaming self for the divorce (mommy leaving) because he was bad. Ted (Dustin Hoffman) explains

Father attempts to resume work and not make the changes necessary to effectively parent (does not parent authoritatively by being involved in child’s activities, e.g. working at home while child plays, being late to get his son after birthday party. As he focuses more on his child than himself, he begins to authoritatively parent by reading to his son, teaching him to ride a bike…

Friend/Neighbor support—Ted’s relationship with the neighbor/friend helps him get handle on divorce…

Child asks about dad about remarrying.

Fantasy about dad and mom remarrying—"bet if she saw your office she would remarry you."

Father initially treated as incompetent to handle household tasks. (stereotype)

Lack of support in the workplace for father as primary caregiver. (Value work over family).

At activities, father just sees mothers all around, not other dads.

Father reassures Billy (the child) when mother wins custody "If you get lonely call me up."

Father develops competence in parenting through regular interaction with this son

Child’s temperament leads him to mull things over before he’ll open up and talk about his feelings and worries. Regresses to earlier childhood stages.

Cohabitation—Dad goes out with attorney and they sleep together

Child sees dad’s date come out of father’s bedroom.

Child care provider becomes his neighbor after father sees her competence with children and trust

Adversarialness of court brings out worst in the parents. It is when both parents focus on their child rather than contempt for each other that they cope with parenting.

While the parents are able to work out a custodial arrangement that involves both in their child’s life and emphasizes what is best for the child, it is a bit hokey to expect parents to be so tender toward each other after such a contentious court battle.